Glenn Beck lost his voice on Monday. Which is to say, Glenn Beck (as we are led to believe) could not make any physical words come out of his mouth on Monday. But an anger-clown without a voice is still an anger-clown, albeit a sad anger-clown. And this particular sad anger-clown would like you to please feel sorry for him in his state of silence. In fact, Glenn Beck would like you to know that life has always been pretty hard for Glenn Beck, and for the love of God could you please just feel sorry for Glenn Beck? Here is what a mute Glenn Beck told the public (if the public was even watching) on his show this past Monday while aggressively frowning over a reeeeeeeally big stack of hand-written flashcards:

Donald Trump called in to Fox and Friends this morning to comment on Miss World's decision to nix bikinis in the Indonesian competition so as not to offend the country's large Muslim population:

This week's re-airing of the fake documentary Mermaids: The Body Found followed by the premier of yet another fake-documentary Mermaids: The New Evidence, has relaunched an internet conversation about whether or not mermaids are real (they are) and whether or not the documentary is "real" (it's not, Animal Planet is fucking with you). But no one seems to be asking the right question: "Is Animal Planet real?" New programming suggests it's not, and might instead be a figment of our cultural imagination. In fact, it's possible that Animal Planet with its shows about fake monsters, naughty animals, and gross bugs has just been trolling us all along. But let's take a look at the evidence: